Every year on Mother's day I get a lump in my throat and wish for what isn't. As a child it was my ultimate dream to be a Mommy. Alas that dream never became a reality for me. For some reason the Lord never blessed me with my own children but I often imagine what it would be like if there had been a Beth Lynn or an Amy or even a Johnny in my life and the kind of Mommy I would have been. There would have been lots of hugs, kisses, laughter and then of course I am sure there would have been sadness, disappointment and even anger however I am certain the positive would have dominated any negative.
I am lucky to be an aunt, godmother, surrogate mom, a step mom and step grand mom but still to have been able to hold and love oh so much my own flesh and blood would have been wonderful!
It would have been great to adopt but for very personal reasons that too was not in "the cards". A dear person in my life said we are all dealt certain cards and these were just the cards I was dealt in my life.
So that being said I have to remember I have many children in my life with my family and with Mike's family and I love them all very much! In addition I have had many girls in my life with my Girl Scout troops and I hold them all very dear to me.
This past week Mike and I have been working with portrait orders of some of the beautiful children of the girls that worked for us. It is a new generation of love evolving. Today one of our "surrogate daughters" had a Graduation party and her "BFF" (another of our surrogates) was there with her son and it melted my heart to watch him with Mike. Children love Mike and he is blessed to be a Dad to two wonderful boys and the best Grandpa to two little boys. All of my nieces and nephews really love Uncle Mike and I am so glad! He is the best and it is great that he was "dealt this set of cards" for being a great Dad.
Perhaps the love we both have for children is why for the past 30 (yes 30!) years we have enjoyed being photographers mainly of children and this may just be my way of leaving a part of myself when I am gone. The smiles of many (100's of thousands I am sure) children for their parents to treasure forever.
SO..... yes it is sad that I am not a Mom, but thankfully I have had many children in my life and I can be content. I called my sister today to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and she said "I am not your Mom" and I replied "but you are my sister who is a Mom". I want to tell all my friends and family who are Mom's I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day and yes, you are not my Mom, but you are so very blessed to be a Mom!