In The Still Of The Night......

I can not sleep tonight. I am not sure why, but I just can not sleep. It has been almost 9 months since my last post. Why? I really don't know.....

Much has happened during this time, in our Photography business, our family life and in our personal relationship.

We continue to work hard in the Photography business as we have found a new dynamic lab to work with for our school division, In addition to that, every day brings new and challenging options for us to implement for our photography clients.

Our family is still trying to adapt to the sudden deaths of John and Jim at the end of last year, I am not looking forward to the first anniversary of their deaths. Our hearts ache so very much and they are both missed daily. I am amazed at the strength Nancy appears to have in dealing with her loss. She is a loving Mother in Law and I am blessed. Just wish we were closer to her. We have spent much time together in the past 9 months but still being able to just "drop in" would be great. Wish we lived in the age of the "Jetsons" it would make life so convenient when distance is a concern.

We just returned from a great 5 days with my family, celebrating my Mothers 77th birthday. It was great to see my Mother smile, laugh and enjoy her children and grandchildren. Family times are so nice.

Our personal life has been great, we discover and remember so many wonderful things daily. Our love continues to grow each minute. Yes there are trying times, but you know, our love for each other seems to diminish the trying times. I want to say I an so very blessed, but I will say WE are so very blessed. We will celebrate 25 years in April 2012. Where has the time gone, it seems like yesterday when we took off to Gatlinburg to "secretly" get married on April 1st. Mikes boys knew but thought it was great to be able to keep our "April Fool's Day" wedding a secret. And when our family and friends received the announcement on April 1st they were surprised, but were happy for us..."No Foolin" ! Yes 25 years; my we have grown, loved and lived and I hope for at least 25 more!

So in the Still of This Night, I can not sleep, but I can relax and reflect. And I thank God for all my blessings.

Good Night, Sweet Dreams!

It Is In The Eyes & The Soul.......

I call my blog SMILING EYES for many reasons. When I was a child, one of my friends Mother told me I had a great smile with high cheek bones and I even shared this smile with my eyes. I remember that my Grandpa Ward would set us on his lap or next to him and challenge us to remain sober and not smile. Then he would stare us down and we would forever break out with a smile and giggles as we failed his challenge, Grandpa stared at us with a twinkle and a grand smile in his eyes that we could not resist responding to.

On a side note.....I love to tease people but can not get away with it too much because of my eyes, I must have inherited this from Grandpa.

There is a saying that goes something like......Smile and they will wonder what you have been up to. Hmmm I believe this is true.

When we were in trouble at home as children, we did not want to fess up, a smile most generally gave us away, unfortunately we could not win our Mom over with the smile so a punishment was inevitable.

This past weekend we had a SNOW BALL for our Service Unit's Girl Scouts who range in age from Kindergarten through Juniors in high school. There were many girls there with oh so many smiles, one little girl told a leader "this is the Best Night of my life!" Wow what a way to make an adult smile, when a child smiles.

As a parent I am sure there is a joy when their infant smiles for the first time. As a photographer, it is an accomplishment to make a child smile to make a parent happy. Somehow I feel this is related. I am not a parent so my joy does come from making a child smile for their school picture as each year passes. I have been a school photographer for 30 years now and have photographed many children during this time span. I have realized that I have to smile as I take each and every picture. Oh my, I sure am glad that it takes less muscles to smile than to frown or I would have so many more crinkles in my face.

The past two months have been full of emotions for us. We have lost loved ones, shared a wonderful surprise at Christmas and are now learning to accept the loss of our loved ones. There have been smiles through pain, joy and even sorrow. Smiles of thanks and most especially smiles of love. God knew what he was doing when he allowed us a smile as an expression to be shared.

When my Nana died the priest spoke about Jesus laughing and how it was rare to see images of him laughing in the bible or other art work portraying Him. After we left the cemetery we stopped at a Religious store to look for a book. My Mother remained in the car and as Mike and I went through the store we came across a framed picture of Jesus laughing. How fitting to come across this at this particular time, we purchased one for us and one for my Mother. We went out to the car and I saw the sadness my Mother was experiencing, I handed her the picture and she smiled and we all knew God had reached out to give us this smile to help our heavy hearts.

And in this picture Jesus is smiling even with his eyes!

My wish today is that with your mouth or with your eyes, share a smile today!

We Will Get Through It, Because Of HIM

He will hold our hand or carry us as we move through the next two weeks of this nightmare. Yes it is a nightmare, my husband stated this the other evening and I agree.

The Christmas Season is to be a season of celebration with family, of the Birth Of Christ. Our family is devastated this Christmas season with the loss of a Brother and Father all within two weeks. Both deaths unexpected and crushing our spirits. Yet I have a firm belief that these two fine men are with our Lord and will be helping him to get us through the holiday.

My Mother in law believes that Jim and John were meant to be together and I believe this was God's will. It is comforting to know that a son was awaiting his father as he passed into the next life. OR that this father went to be with his son who had passed into the next life. This next life is with our Lord.

We wondered about John's religious strength and when his apartment was cleaned out, my husband was comforted to find bibles and religious books that John had. Yes, he believed. When it comes to thoughts of religion and Jim my father in law, there is no doubt that he believed. Last spring when my husband had some meetings with the Bishop in Katy Texas my Father in law went with Mike. I believe he was very proud of my husbands journey with Christ. Jim wanted to be a part of it, even in this small way. And when he took Mike to the airport and embraced him, Jim told Mike he was proud of him. This was the final time Mike was with his Dad in person, how wonderful it is, that this memory will be with Mike forever, thanks to God.

We carry on a photography business that was started in 1921 by Mike's Grandfather and passed on to us by Mike's Dad in 1982, we have worked diligently to continue this tradition and it was a given that we just do it, no need to be proud of that. But to watch as your son became a Deacon and very involved in the church, yes that made Jim proud.

As Jim attempted to deal with his son John's death he turned to his minister Harold and more than likely turned within, to our Lord for comfort. Jim called me and told me he had talked with Harold because he wanted to help Nancy, even at this time he reached out to God through Harold to help his wife of 58 years, get through the funeral for John.

Alas it was not meant for Jim to be with Nancy at their sons funeral, but it was his desire to help her through it. I hope she knows that.

Jim and John will be present in our hearts at the funeral but I would rather think of it as a Celebration of their lives both separate and together. We will get through it, it will be tough, but how fitting that it will occur during the season of Christ's birth. Christ who was sent to us as our Savior. It gives me much comfort to know that John and Jim are with our Savior and as the Christmas season passes they will be with us in our hearts.

Yes, HE will hold our hand or carry us as we move through the next two weeks and I am glad HE is here for us. And I know PEACE will come.

If God Had A Wallet, Your Picture Would Be In It!

The room was dark except for a light over the table at the back. He welcomed me and asked me to have a seat, thus the interview that would change my life forever began.

It was 1978 and I was a recently divorced woman without any focus for my future. I was working at a hospital as a darkroom tech in the X Ray department, I had worked at a photography studio briefly before this job and for another photography company before that. I knew I wanted to be a photographer so when the Studio job was listed in the paper I applied.

Little did I know what was in store, but I believe God did.

I got the job and became an employee of Spieth Inc. Mr. Jim Spieth became my boss, now back to the interview, this man was a quiet, somber gentleman. He hardly spoke and asked me very few questions, gave me a test and told me I had a job.....possibly, he had one more interview and would call. Once again may I say this was a very different type of job interview. But I did like meeting this quiet gentleman.

I waited to hear if I got the job and on the day he called to tell me yes, I had also received a call from another photography company I had interviewed for offering me a position with them. I told Mr. Spieth this and we did a bit of negotiating about hours and pay and I told him that I would accept the position. And again as I remember this, I do believe God sent me on this road for a reason.

I enjoyed my job at the Studio Photique located in the mall in Mattoon. I rarely saw my new employer as he was in Olney some 80 miles south. As time passed and I got more photography skills under my belt and also moved up to managing the studio I felt content. Then one day I received a call from Mr. Spieth and he told me that since the Studio was not doing exactly what he wanted in addition to my job as manager, I would begin taking pictures in schools for Spieth Inc.

Wow, this became something I really enjoyed. Children are gifts from God and being able to capture their youth in my pictures as they grew, was wonderful. As in a previous blog I call this Memory Insurance.

As time passed and the business structure changed Mr. Spieth, now Jim became my dear friend and his son became my boss. We began a new venture called SPIETH PHOTOGRAPHY and I moved to Olney.

Eventually Jim became my father in law, when God blessed me once again with my marriage to his son Mike.

So boss, friend, father in law who would ever know this would happen, but I am sure God did.

Yesterday God brought Jim home to him, we are numb as we have not even had the funeral for John, his son. But I am sure God has a plan and it is a blessing that Jim is with him and not here in a permanent injured state from his tragic accident.

Perhaps God needed a new photographer to help him take the pictures that God Keeps In His Wallet.

I will miss you my dear father in law, friend and boss. I Love You, God's Peace Always and THANK YOU so very much for bringing me into your life. You were a gift in my life.

And one more favor, would you please make sure that God has my picture is in His Wallet?

Just From My Heart

God created man and woman, in addition, he created all of our pieces and parts. Thus this enables us to have a place in our hearts for memories! Every day we are able to tuck away memories and then we can go to this place and take out a memory to help us or cheer us or just because.

In our business we state we create "memory insurance" through our photography and yes I believe we do, however it is what is in our hearts that is the essence of our memories. Our senses enable these memories with seeing a photograph or video, smelling a fragrance or even hearing a song, a verse or scripture that trigger the memories we have.

Bob Hope was famous for his song "Thanks For The Memories" and if you really listen to this song it is what it is all about.

I also think that if you ever have to be with a person that has Alzheimer's it is amazing that they still have their memories that they do refer to daily.

Recently my dear brother in law passed away and to help us, my husband and I have been retrieving memories from our hearts, of John. We can enjoy these with laughter, with tears and with much love. The loss is impossible to measure but the memories we have retrieved, cushion this loss.

Yes, I believe we should thank God, that he has allowed us to have a place in our hearts for our memories. Think about it and take out a heartfelt memory today.

May GOD BLESS You John, You Will Be Missed, But ALWAYS REMEMBERED, We Love You Dearly.

God's Paintings

Each morning as the dawn breaks, I am able to sit on my couch and watch as the sun hits the trees. This is the time of year that enforces to me that GOD is here, all around. I love the fall and the colors of fall. Many years ago I was having lunch with a friend at a State park near Charleston Illinois. After my friend left I remained and drank in all the color that surrounded me and felt very blessed that God shares this beauty with us. It amazes me that as each day breaks during the dark of the night God is busy adding more color to the trees across the lake from me. I have even observed several days, a young doe getting a drink from the lake amongst the color of the trees. Last week there was a mist over the lake and the doe appeared from the trees, now as a photographer why did I not have my camera handy? I suppose God wanted me to keep this lovely picture in my heart and I have!

Daily I await the dawn to break to see the new colors that have been added in the night. Today I was up quite early and my little Rico needed to go out, so we headed out the front door and oh my the beauty of the night hit me, a brilliant dark sky with millions of stars all around, yet another painting from God. As in a previous post I want a "simple life" but with beautiful paintings from God, would it be a simple life? I think not, I believe it would be a simply beautiful life! Look all around you and enjoy God's gift of his paintings for us. We are blessed indeed!

Around & Around

Life for me lately (Last 3 Months) has been like a revolving door and I am staying in it and just going around and around! Have you ever had that happen? I am dizzy! And I want to get out of it now. My goal is to live the SIMPLE LIFE!

But not with all the hustle bustle of hurry up and get it done yesterday! We live in a "fast food" world, do people these days really know what it is to take time to "stop and smell the roses"? What a shame not to smell the beauty of a rose.

The fragrance is soft, gentle and pure. The rose itself is the same. My Father loved roses and had many over the years in his garden. I recall when Dad would bring in a freshly cut rose and share it with all of us. There were several special vases for the roses he brought in the house. After a hard rain Dad would venture out into the gardens and rescue the roses that were damaged and bring them in and let the blooms float in vases of water, and when they opened, they were beautiful. And oh, so simple. Alas, after he passed away, the roses disappeared from the gardens.

This makes me realize that my Dad lived a simple life. He had six children from a marriage of 50 plus years, he had a job working for the city and worked a variety of shifts. Many of the holidays we had growing up were spent without Dad as he worked at the water department and the department was open 24/7. We would get his dinner ready and take it to him and jest that he was having dinner at "The Pump Room". We lived in a suburb of Chicago and "The Pump Room" was a fancy downtown restaurant. Once again, I believe Dad preferred this simple "Pump Room" over the fancy downtown establishment. It was just how he wanted it.

While growing up we had one and I mean one Family vacation, we went to a good family friend's cabin in Wisconsin and had a blast, however it was a very simple laid back vacation, just what Dad wanted.

I want this way of life, I want roses in my garden, I want a simple vacation, I want out of the revolving door!

Yes, soon I hope to stop and smell the roses and realize that their simple beauty is a loving gift from God and I am thankful.